Unbelief moments.
Her husband had a virus that caused him a lot of physical pain. The virus caused him to become temporarily paralyzed. The paralyzed state eventually disappeared, however some remnants of paralysis remained in his body, and were there permanently, even after the virus passed.
While he was sick, I believe his vacation and sick pay ran out, or else it wasn't offered at his job, so my friend ended up supporting their family, (which included a young boy and girl), through the job we worked at together.
Her husband was sent to the Mayo-clinic for treatment. The family was unable to see him for a period of time which added more stress to my friends plate.
Money was tight even with the over-time my friend worked when she could.
Her mom helped watch the children, but also worked full-time hours.
It was a very tough season for my friend
At one point my friend told me she had reached a point where she had had it with everything that was happening in her life. One night she discovered one of the tires of her vehicle was flat. Frustrated, she repeatedly kicked that tire.
I nodded. With all she was dealing with, I probably would have done the same thing.
Her next line surprised me. She had shared this with someone else and that person had asked her something along the lines of, where is your faith?
I was surprised.
Actually, I couldn't comprehend why this person would throw that at someone who had been dealing with one thing after another happening to them.
I, myself, have reached those moments where I want to just scream, kick or hit something, or my favorite go to, just plain go off by myself and not deal with what is going on around me for a while, just to get a break.
I never thought of it as a "lack of faith" or "not trusting Jesus."
I thought of it as, I have had enough already!
I know a person can easily pull verses from the Bible and tell a suffering soul, to count it all joy when going through various trials. I suppose getting frustrated to the point of kicking tires does not line up with the direction of that verse one bit.
There are also plenty of other verses that are quite similar and definitely don't line up with throwing a tantrum over situations.
However, I wonder if I am so able to control my emotions and be joyful over everything when life is throwing me too much junk, why do I need the comfort that comes only from the Holy Spirit?
If I am able to always deal with everything coming my way, why is the verse, be angry, but do not sin and do not let the sun go down on your anger, in the Bible?
I can only assume that the Bible is well rounded and covers all the bases.
I have discovered, in those moments, when I have had enough...Jesus said in the Bible, I only need faith the size of a mustard seed and I can move a mountain.
A teensy tiny mustard seed. That is not much faith at all, however, it COUNTS!
There is a consolation when I am at those moments where I want to scream, hit or kick something...as small as my faith may seem at that moment, I CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS.
So is it all about me and how I perform or respond to things?
Or is it about God showing up and helping us through those times where we reach the end of ourselves?
God cared so much about us, that He to made sure we had a way to live with Him eternally, by sending Jesus to pay the price for our sins.
God cared so much that when Jesus went back up to heaven the Holy Spirit came to counsel, guide, comfort, and empower us to live life in this dark, dark, world.
I truly believe that God loves us so much and HE is so powerful, that is why we still have His power, when our faith is just the size of a mustard seed, we can still move a mountain.
When I can't do it...He can...always.
When I can't see...He can...always.
When I hurt...He comforts...always.
When I sin...He forgives...always.
When I feel unlovable...He loves me...always.
I may fail...Jesus NEVER does...always.
So when you are at a point of kicking a tire because life has thrown so much at you that you can't take it anymore...when you are done...remember...Jesus is right there. HE's got this.
I am not a theologian, but I believe who that little teensie weenie seed of faith is in, that is what faith is all about.
When I am failing. He is NOT failing.
When I am hurting, He is comforting.
When I am weak, HE IS STRONG.
It's about HIM and what He is doing IN me and in the world around me.
The Bible says, He is the POTTER, I am the CLAY. It doesn't say, I am already a beautiful pot. No, I am still on the potter's wheel. I am still the ugly gray, not perfectly formed piece of CLAY.
When I hold on to the truth, that it is about HIM and what He is doing, then, I am able to count it all joy when trials come, despite how the situation may be making be feel. I am able to know...those mountains may be looming in front of me, (and I am hurting so bad, or I am so mad, or whatever other emotion I am feeling)...there may even be an avalanche happening, but, my little tiny faith can stand against it, BECAUSE of faith IN HIM.
Right now, my little tiny bit of faith I have for the moment I am in, where the mountains seem so high, is in the one who can makes those mountains move. The one who created everything. He is bigger than it all.
My faith may be small, but He is not.
He is Jesus. The Lord and Maker of all.
That is why a little seed of faith can move mountains, because He is the one who moves mountains.
Once a man came to Jesus and asked him to heal his son. Jesus asked him if he believed. The man answered, "Help my unbelief."
Jesus did.
He helped his unbelief and healed his son.
In those moments, where there isn't even a mustard seed of belief, ask Jesus to help your unbelief.
I have prayed that prayer many, many times.
He was faithful to change my unbelief in situations to belief.
Next time the events of life are to much to handle, I hope you remember, Jesus is there to help your unbelief and if you just have a mustard seed of faith, it can MOVE mountains, because it isn't you, it is HIM that moves those mountains.
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