Thursday, April 21, 2011

At The Glass Door

Clunk.
Scratch, scratch, clunk.

I glanced up from my reading, to look toward our sliding glass door to see what on earth was making that noise. I caught a glimpse of something, but couldn’t make out what it was, before it dropped down. Thinking to myself, it was either a bird hitting the window or a pine cone falling from one of the evergreen trees I went back to my reading only to be interrupted again by the noise. By the time I looked up I missed what was causing it.

Then I saw a bird fly up to the gutter above the door. Oh, the bird must be getting things off the cement of the patio for its nest and hitting the door in the process. The bird flew over and sat on the fence surrounding the patio and started chirping. Then she surprised me and flew directly into our sliding door. She hit her beak at the door and flapped her wings. She worked hard to get through that window.

She stopped and flew back to the fence only to try again and again. I imagine she couldn’t possibly know what was keeping her from getting from point a to point b, since I doubt she knows what glass is. The poor thing probably wondered, if I can see my destination why can’t I get there?

Wow, if only she knew how awful her life would be if she did get to the other side of that glass. She would fly into a place that’s nothing like her normal life. A place that would confine her, she’d probably panic. And after knocking over a few dishes and hitting against a few walls, feel a bit trapped. To add to her distress, she’d have to deal with the people who lived here screaming and ducking as she flew around while trying to get her back outside where she belonged.

Hmmm, another thought went through my head. How many times do I see a goal and for the life of me, no matter what I do, I can’t get there? It’s out of my reach for some reason or another.

In pushing that a bit further, like the glass protecting the bird from going somewhere it wouldn’t be happy, at those times, the Holy Spirit who I cannot see, but can feel, may be the very one from stopping me from making a big mistake in my life. Though it looks harmless, and inviting, it might be harmful for me. It might not be a place where I would want to be once I got there.

The Bible tells me that God knit me in my mother’s womb. He knows my days, when I lie down, when I rise, words before I speak them, even thoughts before I THINK them.

God used that little bird today, to take a look at my life. Is there anything I’m striving for and just can’t seem to make it work? Maybe, it’s not supposed to work for me. Maybe, it wouldn’t be in my best interest and like that bird, I need to fly away from there and just go some place else.

Psalm 139

Friday, April 15, 2011

Turning to Him

One morning while doing some reading and prayer time I came upon something interesting in the book of Haggai. During this time of experiencing unemployment in our home I am constantly throwing up prayers for provision and a blessing of a good income with job security. I am always amazed at the continual answers to those prayers of provision.
In the book of Haggai, God said so many interesting things to his people, regarding the work of their hands, in that one particular thing stood out to me today. It was at the end of a sentence…”yet you did not turn to me.”
I thought to myself. I pray. I turn to God all the time. So why are we having such a hard time with job security? Then a really interesting question came to my mind. Do I really turn to God?
I pray.
But then I tend to still worry and fret over things. I sometimes get anxious and fearful, then find myself laying awake stewing over everything.
So when I pray, do I really turn to God? Do I trust Him? Do I stand knowing and believing He will take care of the issue at hand? Did I really cast my cares upon Him?
Do I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, but in ALL my ways acknowledging Him and He will make my path straight?
Yes, I turn to Him and pray and bring Him everything, but then I turn back around and turn to worry, fear and anxiety.
When I completely turn to Him, I will resist being fearful, anxious and not worry. Rather I will rest knowing my life is in His hand. And all things work for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is a very special day! My dad is 79 years old. My family is getting together at the end of the week to celebrate.

Normally, Sarrah and I go over to my parents house and see him on his birthday. I wanted to bring him over a chocolate sundae but, my daughter had a cold and we stayed home.

Special moments like that are hard to miss and can hurt the heart, but being able to say "Happy Birthday" and "I love you," to my dad, even over the phone is very wonderful.

I am blessed to have such a wonderful man to be my Dad.

If you happen to catch this blog, "Happy Birthday Dad and I love you."

Friday, April 1, 2011

The Author Of Life

One of my favorite past-times is to listen to a good story, read a good book or watch a movie. Normally, I get emotionally involved and love it when I get to laugh and cry over what happens to the character in the story.

As an author, myself, when I write a story, I get attached to the characters. It may sound funny, but I cry while I write a scene that affects one of my characters negatively, and I laugh and clap my hands when an exciting or good turn of events is happening. Even though I want all of the people in my stories to have sweet happy endings it really wouldn’t make a realistic story. I write with the belief that every fiction story has a grain of truth in it and I also take true life experiences and work them out through the pages of fictitious people’s lives. My stories may not really happen, but they could happen.

I just recently finished one of the most difficult and painful scenes I’ve ever written. The first time I worked on it, it was so emotional for me I just wrote the bare skeletons of it. I cried with the characters and it bothered me for days. I had to revisit this scene quite a few times to add to it and give it the finishing touches. When I read it one last time to make sure it seemed realistic and was as gripping as I wanted it to be, I experienced everything right along with each character.

A women’s bible study group I’ve been in is just finishing up studying Revelations. Throughout the book is an incredible example of how the Author of Real Life gets personally involved with the people He has created. Although, the story is often times overwhelming and scary, and the enemy comes in with a vengeance against the Author’s Real Life people, in the end all of His people, after going through the journey, end up safe and sound.

I’ve been thinking over a few things since writing that scene and studying Revelations. The way it is for me when I write a story and what each person goes through. I get a story in my mind and soon a fictitious person’s life unfolds.
God writes each person’s story and gives them choices along the way to follow His path or their own. Now, my characters don’t get choices, they just do what I say. But God has given people, choice.

Sometimes after we’ve made the choice to follow the Author of our life, something will happen and although we come to Him, sometimes over and over again, it can seem there is no answer from Him. For example a sick loved one who is not getting better, job loss with no new job in sight, a financial crisis, a relationship gone south. Even though a person may pray and pray and pray it seems there is no answer.
Sometimes the answer I found is simply, “Thy will be done.” For some reason there are times He decides the answer to our prayer is simply to trust Him through the circumstance, no matter how it looks, or how it feels.

It’s during those times, creation bows to the Author of life, the King, believing that in the end, although the path is horrible, He promises, “All things work for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”