Through The Swirling Storm of Grief

The ladies who were sitting around the table with me were asked to share one thing they were thankful for this last year.

Of course the conversation went to how fast the year had sped by, hard to believe it is Thanksgiving time, and bits and pieces of things that had happened before each person around the table shared.

I sat and tried to filter through the raging storm of grief, swirling within me, for a specific thing this past year where I would state, "I am thankful for..."

Many things flew past in my mind all mixed within grief. 

Things like - songs on my playlist - I would play them in my car, turn the volume up very loud, where it fills up my car and beyond, then sing along with it -  then...the memory flew past in my mind - of when Jimmy's voice filled my car when he would call on my car phone. Just like when a good song played...I would pass my home and keep driving to continue the conversation with him.

Or I could be thankful I have to walk my dogs each day, it keeps me healthy, but I also pictured the excitement my dogs would show when the best dog walker named Jimmy arrived to our home.

Many blessings went through my mind tagged with grief.

I am thankful God has kept my sisters business going through the years, whether in prosperous or not so prosperous times. It has given me and others a place of employment, including Jimmy who did things in the background keeping things running. Every time the door opens I look to see if it is him.

I didn't say this, but I am very thankful for the very, very brief time I had to love Jimmy.

I have a wonderful memory pulled from an old file in my mind of watching him one afternoon when he was almost a month old. I mean - I watched him. I placed him in front of me on the family room floor of my parents home and just watched him. He was a beautiful sight given to our family on Christmas day.

I had the gift of Jimmy for 41 years and just over 10 months.

I didn't share these things for many reasons. What I did share I was thankful for is hard to put in a nutshell.

I am thankful for prayer.

Prayers that were prayed over Jimmy the week before he passed on. Prayers for our family that I believe have kept us standing.

A prayer prayed over my family on the phone.

Prayers that are prayed openly.

Prayers that are prayed in secret.

Prayers said while holding trembling hands wet with tears of grief.

Prayers said while holding a weeping, sick, or scared person.

Prayer groups that pray over people who are not present in the group or prayers over a prayer request list.

Prayers that connect us with others as we fight a fight together going before His throne for what we need.

Prayers connect us with each other and connect us to the One who brings us comfort, strength, provision, love and goodness.

I believe, prayers surround us with all we need and is a gift for us and to give to others.

I am blessed by prayer.

I am thankful for all of your prayers.

When I look into the deep murky waters of grief, I can see the comfort of prayer and I am so thankful.

Thank you from deep within my heart for your prayers. I am grateful you talk to Him for us.

💙