I Have More To Say

 

Dear Jimbo,

I remember November 10th 2024 I received the final text. She was gone. I remember the disappointment, the sorrow, and frustration.

This last year has been difficult to say the very least.

It broke my heart and those around you that you hurt so deeply. 

And with your broken heart you still cared. You still gave. You were there for your community.

Oh Jimmy so many people have been touched by your giving, or being there for others.  

You saw brokenness and were just there for people. Whether talking, riding motor bikes, giving your special aunt pioneer gloves, taking care of dogs and cat, watering plants, picking up dog doo, helping Ben and I during fostering, caring for Barb with so much love, hanging with your mom, brothers, or bringing food to your friends, walking your step mom home. Jim, the list goes on and on. 

Even the animals, Mr Disney Princess. They would follow you in your neighborhood. You fed them, cared for them. 

My dogs knew when you arrived at our house before we did, and they would wiggle with excitement. 

You were there in so many places, and now...you're not.

So many lives are missing you. We all love you so much.

The last few weeks we have been preparing for the anniversary of this day, the day Barb died. Knowing how hard this year has been on you who loved her so much. 

However, there was no preparation for the hysterical words that shot into my brain, causing inescapable pain throughout my being - Jimmy is dead.

No!

My answer was, NO!

No, plain and simple No.

No matter how much I wanted those hysterical words to change they did not.

I know God designs our days and you live on in eternity, but...we are here without you and it really hurts.

Yes, we are supporting each other and being supported. 

When we went to the hospital to say goodbye the chaplain told me - this pain isn't going to just go away, but your family is doing it right. The support and love will get you through. 

The stories we have shared have made us cry, made us laugh, made us quiet. 

You're our Jim, Jimmy, Jimbo, you're our Christmas boy, and you are not here. 

Jimmy, I do NOT want to say goodbye. I do believe when you closed your eyes here, you opened them to the eternal place where love is beyond what we feel for you. I believe you cried your last tear. Your heart stopped hurting. 

For He heals the brokenhearted. 

He wipes away our tears.

Yes, we are here missing you so much and it is painful. 

I also believe, even with the pain pulsating in my heart and mind, He will bring us comfort. 

We will always miss you, love you, and want to see and hug you. You left behind an incredible legacy. 

For us I believe Jesus will take our hand and we too with broken hearts will be able to walk the road we are to walk that leads us to our eternal home with Him. 

Until we are all reunited, I love you Jimbo! I miss you, and know we will be there for your

Mom. We will. Promise.