Swirling Storms



As I struggled to explain, my friend said, “Alone?”

“Yes.” I nodded. It was hard for me to admit when I know that I am never alone. I know God is there, yet, that is how I felt in the middle of the struggle. I felt like I was trying to just survive through the challenges of the moments…moments that went into hours…into days…I felt…Alone.

“I know faith isn’t based on feelings, but I really would like to 'feel' Him.” I admitted. “My brain knows He is there. He blesses me. I have faith.”

“But it’s tired. Worn.” She added, understanding as she's had her own battles to deal with lately.

“Yes.” I agreed.

Have you ever felt alone? Isolated? Grasping at the frail end of a rope of faith.

Have you ever felt so tired that even though you have all the knowledge that aids your faith, stored in your head, you can’t hear it? You want to. You know…you know…God is there. He loves you, but the words come as if from an echo down a dark distant hallway.

It’s a time. A time to decide. Do I strain to listen to those whispers of hope that seem so far away? Or do I stare at the struggles in front of me and let the whispers grow more and more faint. 

My struggle tells me it will get darker. My faith tells me if I listen, it will get light again. I need to use what strength I have, to strain to listen. I heard Him clearly when He called to me while I walked as a part of the darkness. Though a faint whisper, I can hear Him now as I walk through the darkness.

I have a choice. I can get through the storm believing in His truths no matter how I feel or…not.

That is a test of faith.

I have never suffered to the degree that Job did, all in one sitting. I have never been locked in chains or faced the sword of death for my faith.



I have gone through storms where I felt like I would never reach the shore. When I finally reach the shore, I am banged up and tired, wishing to be able to bask on the shore to rest for a long time. However, no matter how banged up I am, when I do stand up at the edge of that shore, I always have a renewed knowledge of God. I walk away from the storms of life seeing the work He did on my behalf and it makes my faith stronger.

As I walk through life and things from the past fly my way, my shield of faith blocks them from hitting me like they did before, because I now know more about Him. I know He is bigger and greater than those things of the storms.

However, as the new storms I encounter today, swirl around me, pushing me away from the safety of the shore, the knowledge from the past can seem so distant. The roaring of the wind is so loud it blocks out His voice. Yet…it’s there. I know it is. Despite how I feel. I know it is there.

I must choose between listening to the roaring of the wind, or the whispers of my God until He says to the storm, be still.

Then the water will lap around me. I will grope for the shore.  And stand once again with the knowledge that my God is bigger than the storm. 



 Photos by Wayne Swanson 2015






Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Wish I Didn't

Image
  I read the text that said you were gone. The disappointment, the deepening of missing you, increased immediately, and grief filled my being. My mind struggles when I am at work or at my sister's with the knowledge you won't be walking in the door with your friendly smile and hello. I won't hear your friendly words or your snarky comments when things go wrong.  I know, I know, I know we all get to be gathered together again as Jesus said, however, there is a hole here in the lives of those who knew you that only you filled. Right now it really trips us up. I know we will figure a way to deal - as you would say. You never made a million in dollars, but you certainly made more than millions in love. We all enjoyed you. You brought so much to your relationships even when you struggled. I am so sorry for your struggles. I know you are at peace now. That energetic smile is probably beaming standing in the presence of our heavenly Fathers love. I believe with all my heart you ar...
Read more

Let Love Shine

Image
When I picked up my phone yesterday I had the thought, I wonder what is happening on Facebook today. My next thought was, I hope nothing bad happened . The first post - something bad had happened in Vegas. I looked at the news. Are there any words to express about something, that my mind cannot grasp, had  happened? Then it got personal when I discovered a couple of my family members knew people who had lost their lives at this concert and others who were injured. I have no words. I cannot grasp who or why would do such a horrible thing. And whenever I think of what the people at the concert went through, while running away from the bullets, there is no words, only tears. I am not normally a name caller, but no matter what his mental condition was at the time, no matter what his reasons, only a little coward would do what he did. The people had no way to defend themselves. No way to counter attack. Purely an evil cowardly act of violence. And the point? There is none. ...
Read more

Praying? Really?

Image
  I made a comment couple of days ago, of how I would like to be like Peter or Paul right now. I would like to be so close and open to hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit that I can say to her, as she lays before me on the hospital bed, with machines, and skilled nurses working to keep her alive, and comfortable, "Rise and walk, in Jesus name." Or I could clearly hear God say she will, but she will rise into eternity with Me. Instead I pray desperate prayers. I know stories of miracles. I want one now.   I also want to be able to accept if what I want Him to do, is not what He is going to do. I asked myself, and God, How does my faith apply here? How? Looking at the situation, a negative statement made about prayers and miracles frustrated me, and I wanted to have an opportunity  to have a comeback. I suddenly wanted my prayers for a miracle to say, THIS IS WHY I PRAY! Science is silent when God speaks and God moves! Then I asked, how does my faith, my prayers...
Read more