Picket Fences

 I hope your day is safe and blessed.  May the God of comfort bring you hugs if you are missing anyone you love.  May God bring you provision if you are hungry or cold. May God protect you if you are in danger. May God's goodness and love surround, and cover us all!

  Life has been difficult lately, to say the very least. I have wrote blogs on this years troubles.  It is a struggle maneuvering through the process of different types of grief throughout this year, alongside the blessings that also happened. It can be a weird sort of juggling act, where all of the blessings seem to go unnoticed dropping around me, and I stay focused on my troubles. Sometimes I hold so tight to one thing that hurts me, or troubles me, or frustrates me, and then I add it to the next trouble that happens, and to the next trouble. Soon the troubles have become so big, I am flat on the ground emotionally. I pile them all together like a huge pile of balls in a jumping pit. GRIEF is a hard one to not focus on, it is a difficult process, the sadness doesn't just disappear, it stays. It is RUDE, It INTERRUPTS life at the oddest times.  In the middle of a good moment, it will tap my shoulder to remind me it is here and to pay attention to it.  I can be on a...

  I read the text that said you were gone. The disappointment, the deepening of missing you, increased immediately, and grief filled my being. My mind struggles when I am at work or at my sister's with the knowledge you won't be walking in the door with your friendly smile and hello. I won't hear your friendly words or your snarky comments when things go wrong.  I know, I know, I know we all get to be gathered together again as Jesus said, however, there is a hole here in the lives of those who knew you that only you filled. Right now it really trips us up. I know we will figure a way to deal - as you would say. You never made a million in dollars, but you certainly made more than millions in love. We all enjoyed you. You brought so much to your relationships even when you struggled. I am so sorry for your struggles. I know you are at peace now. That energetic smile is probably beaming standing in the presence of our heavenly Fathers love. I believe with all my heart you ar...

  I made a comment couple of days ago, of how I would like to be like Peter or Paul right now. I would like to be so close and open to hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit that I can say to her, as she lays before me on the hospital bed, with machines, and skilled nurses working to keep her alive, and comfortable, "Rise and walk, in Jesus name." Or I could clearly hear God say she will, but she will rise into eternity with Me. Instead I pray desperate prayers. I know stories of miracles. I want one now.   I also want to be able to accept if what I want Him to do, is not what He is going to do. I asked myself, and God, How does my faith apply here? How? Looking at the situation, a negative statement made about prayers and miracles frustrated me, and I wanted to have an opportunity  to have a comeback. I suddenly wanted my prayers for a miracle to say, THIS IS WHY I PRAY! Science is silent when God speaks and God moves! Then I asked, how does my faith, my prayers...

 A writer is often met with a very hard decision, when to delete words, they have written. For me, a thought goes round and round in my head, I sit down, type it out, and it is fulfilling to watch the words fall into place. After receiving critiqued or edited work back, I sometimes have discovered a red line with the words “delete” alongside a part that I love. I don’t like it when that happens. It goes both ways. I have handed work back to other writers and I know they don’t always like what I suggest. The final say is the writer’s decision. It is the writer’s story after all. I often wish deleted moments in my life would only pertain to my writing alone, but sadly, I have had to “delete” many times in my own personal life. The “delete” word can show up at times that are very unexpected, or in a place in life that I don’t want to delete something. Recently we had to put down one of our animals. It was a horrible experience. I held her until they said she was gone. It was v...

  Since the day I turned 64, life has been filled with quite a few emotional storms. F5 tornado’s have ripped around in my brain and heart. Blessings, conflicts, hurt, and pain fly around all at once making it hard to focus on something. It has not been easy. All my energy just seeps out of me and washes away like puddles of rain down sewer drains. It leaves me tired, and my knees feel weak. When things seem to be as peaceful as a beautiful day after a fresh rain in the spring, the winds start blowing, and something sweeps in playing chaos with the peace. At the beginning of June this year, we had the surprising announcement that the month would start with RAIN showers. Lots of rains showers. Startling news , especially for those who have lived here for a decent amount of time, and usually don’t even bother with an umbrella, due to rain being a normal part of life. A lot of times it may rain for an hour, or a minute, then the sun comes out, then it rains again, then i...