In My Boat

  

The movie The Impossible is based on a family who experienced a tsunami while on vacation, I have to say when the startling wave came crashing in, sweeping up everyone in its path, it truly depicted how my heart felt when just short of a year ago my nephew unexpectedly died.

No warning. 

The phone rang. The words screamed in my ear. 

The painful slam to my heart made my emotions swirl around in a deep dark place. I couldn't get away from the pain that surrounded my very being. I had no idea how to deal with the harsh reality or the painful feelings.   

The message had startled all of us in the family, we had dealt with a series of deaths in the last 3 years, friends and family, we had just had a memorial for Jim's fiancé.  

Then that call.

I am not a good swimmer, and at times this last year I felt like I would drown. The waves of grief would hit at times that shocked me and swept me away. 

October 27, 2025 is the last time I hung out with my nephew. We had some birthday cake for my sister, his mom, and played around with his cats. 

I am so glad I have that memory. I didn't get to say goodbye, but our last moments were very sweet and fun. 

I think if you read my blog at all, the story of Peter stepping out from a boat on to the water is written about a lot. That story speaks to me in many ways. 

One clear way it has spoken to me this last year when I am sinking, when it feels as thought I am going to drown in the tidal wave of grief; I remember when Peter looked at the storm and it overwhelmed him, he sank. He then called out to Jesus. And Jesus went over and pulled him up and walked with him through the storm back to the boat. 

As far as I know, scripture doesn't clearly tell us, but I can only guess that when Peter arrived back on the boat with the other disciples, he had a stronger faith in Jesus. I think he knew Jesus would be there for him whenever he called out, no matter what.

I think it is why after Peter denied Jesus before the cross, when he heard Jesus had come back to life, he instantly ran with John to the tomb to see Jesus.

I think it is why after the resurrection when Peter and the disciple realized Jesus stood at the shore Peter instantly jumped out of the boat to swim to Jesus. 

I know because of Peter's story, when I am drowning in the sea of grief, I can call out to Jesus. The pain is there, but so is Jesus. 

I know He is right here with me, and my family in the midst of grief. 

Grief may sirround me and even  knock me down, but Jesus will pick me up. As I walk through this storm, wherever my feet land, I know I will have a stronger faith, that Jesus will not leave me, or forsake me. 

He is here with me. 

2  Corinthians 1:3-4 NKJV

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 

John 6:19-21 NKJV

So when they had rowed about three or four miles, they saw Jesus walking on the sea and drawing near the boat; and they were afraid. But He said to them, "It is I; do not be afraid." Then they willingly received Him into the boat and immediately the boat was at the land where they were going.

If you are in that tsunami of grief, call out to Him. I pray you will let Him in so you will land with Him.

Amen!

P.S.

A couple of songs that have helped me during this time. You may have to copy it to open it. 

Mercy Me - Make It Well with my https://youtu.be/xLrF-ml7uks?is=SIC3pBfo--B1S-pf

Toby Mac - Campfire - The Very Love

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=RDcXxWZa8Ne5Y&playnext=1&si=pQXBzy-f1ZgAO5iT

Through the night - Jeremy Camp

https://youtu.be/Qf3gqeQA47M?is=yKzwt_1lWIM57oib