Stormy Seasons

 

Since the day I turned 64, life has been filled with quite a few emotional storms.

F5 tornado’s have ripped around in my brain and heart. Blessings, conflicts, hurt, and pain fly around all at once making it hard to focus on something.

It has not been easy.

All my energy just seeps out of me and washes away like puddles of rain down sewer drains. It leaves me tired, and my knees feel weak.

When things seem to be as peaceful as a beautiful day after a fresh rain in the spring, the winds start blowing, and something sweeps in playing chaos with the peace.

At the beginning of June this year, we had the surprising announcement that the month would start with RAIN showers. Lots of rains showers.

Startling news, especially for those who have lived here for a decent amount of time, and usually don’t even bother with an umbrella, due to rain being a normal part of life.

A lot of times it may rain for an hour, or a minute, then the sun comes out, then it rains again, then it is sunny. On a harsh day the sun hides behind the clouds. That is when some Washingtonians start complaining about the rain and the cloudy days.

June, however, is a bit different, it can rain all day, wet rain like it does in the dark winter months. Rain that can call for umbrellas. If you live here in the Pacific Northwest, you understand that not all rain is WET rain.

On wet rainy days, when you run to your car, your hair and clothes get soaked.

The cool thing is when the rain stops in June, the sun shines bright, the rainbows come out in brilliant colors, and the trees and grass are a beautiful green, the wildflowers are full and bright in color.

Wouldn’t it be so nice if after an emotional downpour it would all be beautiful?

Instead, emotional downpours can leave a wake like tornadoes do instead of a rainbow filling the sky.

Have you ever had a tornado of thoughts and emotions swooshing through your mind?

Good, bad, ugly, blessings, and confusing hurt whip by your mind’s eye one after the other.

Have you ever been in a wonderful, peaceful place one SECOND and the next it changes to stress, chaos, or pain?

Or have you ever been in a conversation over a simple matter that turned into a huge argument due to whatever misunderstanding happened due to some lack of communication?

Have you ever talked to someone you thoroughly love and enjoy only to discover they had negative thoughts about you or about things that you have done in the past?

Or trust someone with your heart’s secrets only to discover they were not someone you could trust?

Have you ever felt lost, alone, and confused and had many blessings surrounding you?

 The bruised, defeated, and tired physical feeling that can come from the negative moments can drain all enthusiasm from even spectacular moments that may be happening or follow right afterward.

The joy from the blessings or being with loved ones can be zapped right out of a person.

Many years ago, I worked with a very difficult employer who made my fantastic job very difficult. Many nights I went home frustrated and many weekends I focused on the frustration my employer had caused me during the week. It clouded my view on the good happening in my life.

I clung to the verse to meditate on things that were holy, just, true, praiseworthy and of good report. However, it was hard because I had to focus hard to be able to do that. My employers’ negative actions would creep into my thoughts.

When I was younger the group Jackson Five had a hit record - One Bad Apple can spoil the whole bunch girl. I had no idea then what it meant. I do now.

One person, one thing can spoil things like a rotten apple can spoil the rest in the bag.

What to do when it is a season of emotional tsunamis?

I can’t just throw a simple Christian answer out to you because I know from experience sometimes it is so hard. I wish I could always count it all joy. I wish I could throw all my cares up to God and be in perfect peace.

I find myself continually huffing up my cares and then I catch them and must throw them back up again.

I’ve learned during those times to call up stories that inspire me, give me hope, help my faith and my next step. Stories that won’t make me feel bad when life gets super hard, and I am not up to par emotionally.

Stories like one of my favorites when Peter was doing a big faith walk on the water and it became too much for him, he simply cried out “Help!”

He didn’t sing a praise song or put on a smile on his face and wave at the guys back in the boat. He didn’t try to look all put together, No. HE SANK. And he cried out.

Jesus answered. Immediately.

Another one is when the prophet Elijah got freaked out by what Jezebel was going to do to him. (After he himself participated in a big show of God’s hand.) He didn’t sing praise songs. He didn’t put a smile on his face. No, he ran. He ran to a cave. God fed him, let him sleep, AND God came to him. Elijah hid and God came to Elijah.

 Hagar was sad after Sarah was mean to her and ran away, God came to her in the desert.

When Peter failed the night Jesus was captured, Jesus talked it out with him while Jesus MADE Peter a meal.

These stories really help me when to realize that when I am not up to the game, God is there one way or another.

Another story that really inspires me is the one about the four men who carry their paralyzed friend on a mat and can’t get in to see Jesus. So, they climb up on the roof and brought their paralyzed friend up on the roof with them. They dug a hole and lowered him in front of Jesus. Jesus took care of their friend.

In those moments where I am drained and can’t do it myself, I call on my friends for prayer. They bring me to Jesus through prayer and you know what? Jesus takes care of me.

You’re not alone when life gets hard. When the storms roll in. When the tornado’s recklessly swirl your thoughts and emotions around. When it is an emotional tsunami season.

God is there.

You can cry for help and reach for His hand to help you up, listen for His whisper to console you, or know that He sees you right where you are at.

You are not alone.