Monday, October 26, 2015

Monday Monday

“Monday, Monday” by the Mama’s and the Papa’s. 

"...Every other day, every other day

Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
A you can find me cryin' all of the time

Monday, Monday, can't trust that day
Monday, Monday, it just turns out that way
Oh Monday, Monday, won't go away
Monday, Monday, it's here to stay
Oh Monday, Monday
Oh Monday, Monday..."

I am singing that song TODAY!

Monday started at 1:00 this morning when I got woke up out of a deep sleep, and well…it went from there. One thing after another.

I’ve had tears…I’ve said "the words.” Yep, it’s a Monday.

Not just for me, but my husband and sister are having a Monday too.

One negative thing after another.

How can Sunday be so sweet…and then Monday happens?

And then I think about my sister in law’s aunt whose last day was today.

It makes me appreciate even the Monday’s that wear a person down.

And then I read about the woman whose cancer didn’t respond to treatment and her husband throws away the calendar because they only have a short time together with their child.

Oh, sweet Lord. With tears I cling to the fact that I have this Monday, as hard as it is.
With all of the frustration. With all of the hurts. Doubts. Fears.

I appreciate that I can…

Thank you Lord for this day.

Time is short.  Today is just one of those days a person has to push through and stand.

At night, when I lay down my head in utter exhaustion on my pillow, despite my failings throughout this day, I am grateful for this day.

This day that the Lord has given me.

This time I have with those I love.

This moment to sit behind a computer and do my job.

Meditate on These Things ] Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Shame Gets You No Where

Moving.

Packing...packing...packing.

Sick child.

Exhausted Mom.

Video game break with sick child.

Screams of panic fill the room.

Screams of frustration fill my mind.

Spilled smoothie all over couch.

Heavy sigh.

Words of frustration push against my closed lips.

Words of apology rush from her lips.

A post from Facebook goes through my mind.

A child's sad face...it takes a minute to clean up a spilled mess...it takes a lifetime to heal from angry words.

I keep my mouth shut and get busy taking the covers off the couch cushions with the hopes it didn't seep through the foam.

I throw the covers and towels into the already overflowing laundry pile and push against overwhelming feelings that make me feel...very tired.

Back over at the couch. I scrub the back side of it. When her words hit me like a piercing knife through my heart.

"I am so ashamed of myself. I..."

I stand. "Shame will get you absolutely no where. Learn from what happened, because wisdom will get you everywhere."

I go back to cleaning, and thank God for having me hold my tongue. For giving me those words.

She works beside me.

No more words of condemnation are spoken.

No angry words fell from my lips.

They weren't necessary.

She had enough of her own.

What was necessary was encouragement in the midst of a storm.

For many years I struggled with shame. It made me hide. It made me build walls around myself. It got me no...where.

When I received forgiveness and believed it. And learned from my mistakes. I started going some...where in my life.

Shame will bind you.

Wisdom frees you.

Proverbs 2:10
For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy.

Proverbs 2:12
Wisdom will save you from evil people, from those whose words are twisted.

Proverbs 3:7
Don't be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.

Proverbs 3:13
Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding.

Proverbs 3:19
Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.

Proverbs 4:5 - 6
Get wisdom; develop good judgement. Don't forget my words or turn away from them. Don't turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Lover her, and she will guard you.

Proverbs 4:11
I will teach you wisdom's ways and lead you in straight paths.

Get Wisdom. It's far better than shame.